Emmett and Truth or Dare What Could Go Wrong?
by RandomCullenFanGirl1901
Summary: When Emmett decides to play truth or dare, the Cullen clan is wrapped up in their crazy brother's game. Hilarity ensues, and no one is safe. My summaries suck... Rated T due to extreme paranoia. Canon pairings. Takes place Post Eclipse but Pre BD. REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Emmett and Truth or Dare... What Could Go Wrong?**

**Disclaimer: Emmett – PLEASE let me say it!!!**

**Edward – No, Emmett!! I get to say the disclaimer this time!**

**Emmett – I wanna say it!**

**Edward – No!**

***15 minutes later***

**Emmett – YAY! I win! The crazy fangirl author owns nothing!!!**

**EMPOV**

"OH MY CARLISLE!!!" I shrieked. This was the best idea _ever_! I'm a genius! Already onto my awesome scheme, Alice bounded down the stairs. She was literally jumping up and down in excitement. I knew this was her favorite game, besides Bella-Barbie.

"Oh! Oh! I call dibs on going first!" Alice half-squealed.

"But I thought of it! I should get to go first!" I pouted.

"Please, please, _PLEASE_??" Alice pouted right back, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

After ten minutes of arguing, my Rosie came down the stairs.

"What are you two bickering about? I can't concentrate on my me-time."

"Well, I decided that we should all play truth or dare, and now Alice wants to go first, but I should get to 'cause I thought of it," I said in my best please-be-on-my-side voice.

After a death glare from Rosalie, Alice finally gave in, something she didn't do so easily.

By this time, everyone else was in the living room, including Bella, and wondering just what I was up to. Well, everyone except Edward. Stupid mind reader. He ruins the surprise.

Edward growled at me, confirming that he heard my every mental-word just now. Oh well, we all had an awesome times a zillion game to play!!

"Okay everyone, we're gunna play...drum roll please – Jasper started banging a conveniently placed set of drums – TRUTH OR DARE!! Except you can't pick truth!!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!! Into a circle!!"

Everyone assembled into a circle, sitting next to their mates, though my Rosie only seemed half-interested. I already had the awesomest dares cooked up, but to keep it a surprise, I was singing the Power-Puff Girls theme song in my head over and over. Well, I admit I was singing it half to keep Eddiekinz – growl – out and half because he found this particular song highly annoying and I liked bugging him.

"Yay!!" I admit, even for me that was very squealish. "Time to start! I pick Eddiekinz!!!" Even though the opportunity to dare Bella was very tempting, I decided that what I had planned for my semi-emo brother was too good to pass up.

"Ugh, don't call me that! What are you going to force me to do this time? I see that evil grin. If it's even remotely close to that one time in the seventies..." Edward trailed off, shuddering. I, along with everyone besides Bella and Edward, burst into loud guffaws. Ah, the joy this game has brought us Cullens...

"Anywho, Eddie. I was thinking more along the lines of, oh, I don't know... cross-dress, go to the mall, and ask random people for their phone number."

Everyone burst out laughing, except good old Eddie-boy and his protective fiancé, but even she was fighting back snickers. Our amusement was met by death glares from our brother dearest. _Awww, come on Edward! Lighten up, and Bella thinks you should do it. She finds it amusing._

He grudgingly agreed after I mentioned that there was any chance Bella might enjoy his cross-dressing escapade. Alice hauled him upstairs, and in record time, he was trudging down the stairs in some sort of designer dress and shoes, only maybe the shoes didn't count so much as shoes as much as they were strappy, lacy toothpicks. He had makeup and the whole lot. I would have to thank Alice for the next decade. Bella couldn't help it anymore. She doubled over with the rest of us, only she actually needed to catch her breath.

After much effort, everyone – excluding Eddiekinz *growl* of course – was able to control their laughter. Eddiekinz, Bellaizzle, Ali, and Jazzie-poo loaded into Edward's Volvo, while Rosie and me took my Jeep. After driving toward the mall at normal speed – usually at the right hand end of the speedometer – we all parked and walked into the mall. I dragged everyone to the most crowded section of the mall.

"Okay, Eddiekinz, strut your stuff!!" I was almost bouncing off the walls, and Jasper couldn't help but feeling my emotions and joining in, causing my entire family to get really excited.

For someone who really didn't want to do the dare, gosh Eddiekinz was good! He did a catwalk over to a middle-aged balding man who was holding his wife's hand and in an animated conversation. Edward walked up to them and told them his name was Raul. Then he turned to the man and said that he was single, fluttering his eyelashes and winking. The man was stunned at Edward's request for his phone number, and the look on his face was priceless. He and his wife slowly backed away, then turned around and quickly scurried towards the opposite direction.

As Edward walked back to us – we were all hopelessly laughing now – his expression was one that said get-me-the-hell-outta-here. I, however, made him repeat the process on several other unlucky patrons. One old man looked like he nearly had a heart attack. It was hilarious.

On the way out of the mall, Edward was pissed, to say the least. He stormed out of the doors and huffed toward his precious silver Volvo. Once we got home, he instantly darted upstairs, ripping the 5-inch-monstrosities off his feet. He came back down a few minutes later in normal clothes and makeup-free. His angry expression was replaced with an evil smile as he joined our re-assembled circle and put his arm around Bella. Even after I had controlled myself, a chuckle escaped my lips at just the thought of Edward flirting with that middle aged man. Priceless...

"Enough with the mental reminders, Emmett." Edward said, still keeping his mischievous grin in place. "It's my turn now..."

**A/N: Hope you likey!! My first attempt at a fanfic, so review. Please? Aw come, on!! - *pouts* - REVIEW!! **

**Oh, and uhh I'll update as soon as possible. I'm excited about this story. Yay excitement!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer – I own Edward and all of Twilight and you don't! Na na na na na!!**

**Me – It will be mine!! Someday, somehow... Mwa ha ha ha!!! *****runs away to secret Steal Twilight Lab and thinks. Hard. Sulks when she realizes she still doesn't own anything Twilight related but a bunch of merchandise* ****Oh, and uhh SpongeBob isn't mine either! Crap! This means I own nothing...**

**EdPOV**

After that hellish torture, I was scarred for eternity. But it still didn't compare to that time in the seventies. *shudders*

That might possibly have been the worst day of my too-long life, besides the day I thought my Bella was gone.

As I washed that horrid stuff off my face, I contemplated ways to get Emmett back. I knew that I couldn't re-dare him, because he would do the same and I didn't want to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of humiliation. I could dare Rosalie to do something that Emmett wouldn't like, but that usually meant that she wouldn't like it that much either. It wasn't exactly the best time in my existence for her to rip my head off. I liked being with Bella too much to want to end my time with her now.

Buttoning the buttons on my now appropriate-and-not-womanish shirt, I decided that I would get Emmett back after the latest truth or dare session was over. It would be more fun that way anyways.

I went downstairs with a mischievous grin that I couldn't seem to wipe off my face. Emmett's Jeep was dead...

I sat down next to my Bella and put my arm around her warm body. For a second I was immersed in her beauty, her warm touch...but I was snapped out of it when Emmett started thinking all about my recent little adventure, and how the look on that one man's face was priceless.

"Enough with the mental reminders, Emmett." I still had that smile on my face. "It's my turn now..."

While Bella, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie waited for me to declare who I was daring, Emmett suddenly broke into song in his head. Apparently, what I had just said reminded him of one of his favorite songs, if you replace 'turn' with 'time' and added a 'not.' But it wasn't his favorite. That coveted title was held by the SpongeBob SquarePants theme.

_It's not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
It's not showing  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
Oh, It's not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
Now I know that  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
Oh, I won't go_

"SHUT UP, EMMETT!! I GET ENOUGH OF YOUR SINGING WITHOUT THE MENTAL SONGS!!" I don't know if I'd ever met a more annoying buffoon than Emmett.

"Sheesh, Eddiekinz. It's all good."

Was he trying to make me snap? It sure seemed like it. That ridiculous nickname always made me rip Emmett's head off. Only Bella in my arms prevented me from performing the aforementioned violence.

"..That." Jasper sent me a tangible wave of calm, and I was somewhat more under control. After I was positive that I would not resort to something as violent as dismembering Emmett, I turned to my family.

"It seems as though I've got a dare to make. And it would appear that I choose Alice." She didn't groan or anything, but with my current mood, she wasn't exactly ecstatic to be chosen, either.

"Why not get Emmett back?" she whined, obviously not wanting to have to do anything rash because of Emmett's pissing me off. _Oh, come on Edward! Please don't take it out on me!! _she thought.

"Because then he would dare me, and I would dare him, and so on. We would be here for the rest of eternity daring each other. That doesn't exactly sound fun," I explained. Besides, even through a dare, I couldn't make Emmett do what I would do to his Jeep. "And I promise that I won't vent my anger at Emmett out on you. You'll have a normal dare." As about as normal as you can get with Cullens.

"Oh, fine," she grumbled.

"Alice, I dare you to put water on your pants to make it look like you wet yourself, then parade around town talking to everyone while carrying a pack of diapers."

Everyone was hysterical when I finished. Compared to some of the things Alice had been dared in the past 50-something years, this was letting her off easy. And she knew it, too.

Her face fell, but she seemed to acknowledge her fate. Since it was Saturday, most people would be out and about in town, but that didn't faze Alice. After she accepted her fate, she got in her Porsche and raced to the nearest store that sold diapers. In around five minutes, she returned with a pack that had a design she deemed suitable. Emmett then splashed her pants with water, thoroughly making sure it looked like she'd had an accident of mass proportions. Everyone had a moment of complete silence, and then burst out laughing, Alice included.

We all went to Newton's Outfitters first. Alice got out of the car with us following and walked in with her pack of diapers. As it would happen, Mike Newton was just arriving for his shift. He stared at Bella for a moment, causing me to growl, but turned to the direction of her snickers. His eyes flickered to, me, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper before finally settling on Alice. They nearly popped out of his head when he noticed her "accident" and the diapers she was holding. His jaw almost fell to the ground. Alice pretended to be wrapped up in some sort of camping gear and acted as if she didn't know Newton was eyeing the "accident" and her diapers.

After leaving Newton's Outfitters and telling my family all about how Mike kept screaming _Oh. My. God._ over and over in his head, our laughing fits continued as Alice flaunted her diapers to everyone she passed. She went into random buildings and made us double over, and Bella had tears in her eyes.

We visited nearly every place in Forks, but soon we returned home. We collapsed onto the living room furniture, but not after I caught Bella from nearly tripping and landing on her face. Ah, how I loved it when she blushed.

Emmett was now choking out words in between guffaws. "That... was so...hilarious...Newton's face...priceless."

When everyone had calmed down, largely due to Jasper's influence, I could hear Alice thinking about who to dare and what she would make them do wile she changed pants. Some were relatively mild, while others were so outlandishly crazy I hoped that my Bella wouldn't have to do them. Ever.

Whoever Alice picked – and I had a sinking feeling that I knew who it was – she obviously didn't want be to know. She simply thought, _I want it to surprise__** everyone**__, Edward_. Then her mind was filled with Glamorous by Fergie.

"Alright!! Time to continue our game!!!" Alice squealed as she ran down the stairs and perched next to Jasper. "I dare..."

**A/N: When I said as soon as possible I meant it. I'm bored, what was I supposed to do? I wanted to wait to post this, but I had the time to write and just had to update. Within three hours. Sorry if it sucks. Oh and uh, could you please do me a favor... maybesortakindacouldyoureview? K,thx bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Twilight. AHHHHHHHH!!!**

***Must Own It!!! Stephenie, You're Going DOWN!!!***

**APOV**

As I raced upstairs to change my designer jeans for some un-watered ones, I thought about who I should pick to dare. My options were: Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie. Emmett was still available, but it wouldn't be fair to pick him and let him make one of us do something wild AGAIN. He was saved for last, and he knew it. Then there was the matter of what my dare would be. I had several ideas in mind, but some were too boring and others were a bit crazy, even for me, the shopaholic and hyperactive pixie. Just then it occurred to me. I knew who I would dare, and I knew _exactly_ what to dare them with.

I knew Edward was listening, so I quickly thought, _I want it to surprise__** everyone**__, Edward_. I thought-sang Glamorous by Fergie as loud as I could in my head, giving myself as close to a headache as I would ever get **(A/N: But that is where you're wrong, Alice. You haven't read Breaking Dawn have you? Mwa ha ha ha!! Back to my somewhat funny story and away from my very much random thoughts.)**

I put on my new too-cute skinnies that I got on my most recent shopping trip and raced down the stairs. I quickly sat down next to my Jazz and squealed, "Alright!! Time to continue our game!!! I dare... Bella!!"

No sooner had I gushed Bella's name than Emmett had started to snicker. He knew that, since this involved Bella, he would soon be rofl. **(A/N: Did I just seriously make Alice speak IM?)** Also no sooner than her name left my mouth, Bella's expression turned from lets-see-who-gets-humiliated-next to oh-god-please-help-me. I expected her to be used to all our craziness, though. I mean she was engaged to my brother! In a few weeks she _was_ a Cullen. Oh, well. Time for fun!!!

"Bella, you think you're a fish outta water now, wait till you hear what Alice has come up with for you!! I mean, I don't know yet, but this game is full of awesome, so I know it will rock!"

Even without Jazz's power, I could sense how much Bella was freaking out. Her heart was speeding up and she was starting to hyperventilate. I eyed Jazz, and he caught my drift. Instantly, everyone was relatively calm, and Bella looked like she wouldn't have a panic attack again, although if Emmett wouldn't shut up...

Edward gave Emmett a vicious glare, which was enough to silence Emmett for a few seconds. Enough for me to give Bella my dare.

"Don't worry, Bella, it's not as bad as _Emmett_" - I sneered his name – "is making it out to be. You're dare is sort of harmless. It's nothing like what Edward had to do in the seventies." That was the most hilarious, yet twisted dare _EVER_. I saw Edward shudder out of the corner of my eye.

"Sort of?" Bella questioned. I decided to save Bella from getting all scared so I cut straight to the point.

"Bella, I dare you to go around town and sing Christmas carols wearing an elf suit!! In a megaphone!" I said, while bouncing up and down.

"But it's the middle of July!" Bella obviously objected, but I could have made her do that seventies thing... she was getting off so easy!!

"Have you never heard of Christmas in July?" I said, exasperated.

"And where the hell are you gunna get an elf suit?" Bella asked. I'm sure she thought this question would either a) cancel the dare because we had no elf suit or b) postpone it so she could figure a way out of it. **(A/N: Christmas in July – July 25 – is my actual birthday! Random...)**

"Bella, when you've had over fifty Christmases and Halloweens and you're a Cullen, things tend to accumulate. I have one from a few years ago." I picked Bella up and ran upstairs to my closet and found the suit quickly. I chose one of the cuter elf suits, one that was in style. At least I didn't make her wear that contraption from the eighties. *shudder*

"Can we just get this over with, Alice?" Bella, Bella, always impatient.

"Fine...put this on." I tossed the elf suit to her, but being Bella, she failed to catch it. Seeing this was going to take forever, I decided to just put the stupid thing on her myself. In two seconds, she was dressed. Her face turned tomato red after she saw what she looked like.

"Come on, Bella. Makeup!!" I squealed. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know that she was thinking something along the lines of 'oh god, help me!' ore 'please let it be quick.'

After thoroughly transforming her into an elf, I carried her downstairs at full speed and set her down. Then I went to find one of our megaphones. We sometimes use them for baseball games, whenever Esme feels like cheering.

"Come on guys, LET'S GO!!" Jasper was next to me, jumping up and down, too. In his case, my excitement literally was contagious.

Once we entered the town limits, we went to the school and parked there. Since everything in Forks is close together, we just walked from here. The entire time, you could have sworn someone painted Bella's face red. Gosh, she blushes a lot.

"Alright, Bella, there's a lot of people over there! Go sing!" Emmett was nearly as impatient as I was now. He hadn't doubled over laughing in a good five minutes now, so I'm sure he wanted to get this show on the road.

Bella walked over to the large group of people, and turned the megaphone on. 3...2...1

"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY! OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH! JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY

OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH! DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW, IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, OVER THE FIELDS WE GO, LAUGHING ALL THE WAY! HA HA HA! BELLS ON BOB TAILS RING, MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO LAUGH AND SING A SLEIGHING SONG TONIGHT!"

Despite her face being a very odd shade of red the entire time, Bella actually did pretty good. Once she left those startled pedestrians, she sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and Rockin' around the Christmas Tree for other surprised Forks citizens. She also sang for one Mike Newton, who nearly had his own accident when one second, he was restocking bear canisters, and the next Bella was in his hear singing about Rudolph.

By the time she was finished, everyone besides Edward was on the ground and showing no signs of ending their laughing fit anytime soon. Even though Edward wasn't rolling on the floor with us, he was still chuckling. Bella went straight back to his Volvo and sat inside. Whenever our snickering was under control, we joined her.

When we parked in the driveway, Bella ran for the door. Not a smart thing for Bella the Klutz to do. Of course when Edward caught her from falling flat on her face, her blush deepened, if that was even possible.

Once Bella was all elf-free and showing no signs of blushing again – well in the near future, anyways – she rejoined our circle, plopping down next to Edward.

She got that evil, maniacal grin that Edward had earlier. After what she just did, I pity whoever she decides to prank.

"Well," she started, "now that that's over, I dare..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If you wished you owned Twilight clap you hands *CLAP CLAP***

**If you wished you owned Twilight clap you hands *CLAP CLAP***

**If you don't own Twilight and you really wished you did if you wished you owned Twilight clap you hands *CLAP CLAP***

**BPOV**

That has to be the worst dare I have ever done in my entire life. Alice kept saying that it could have been worse, though. Something about Edward and the seventies...

After having to dress up as an_ elf_, and sing _Christmas carols_ in _July_, I needed a good dare. And how can I come up with a dare when I don't even know who to dare yet? I can dare Rosalie for all the times she's been mean to me, but I'm on a little bit of better terms with her, and if I'm going to be her sister for the rest of eternity I don't want to screw things up with her.

I could also dare Jasper, but if my dare got him mad or pissed off, then everyone else would be in a bad mood. I could also dare him to get back at Alice, but that would just make her have to dare someone else again, and that wasn't really fair to everyone else.

And then there's Emmett. I could dare him but we all know that he's last. If we make him last, there's no chance that he'll take it all out on us through dares that are even more crazy than a cross-dressing, phone number-getting adventure. And I have never heard of any dare crazier than that. He won't be able to get us back, not in this game anyways.

I think my best bet would be to go with Jasper. If I went with Rosalie, she would give me grief for centuries, and I didn't exactly want to spend my entire existence putting up with that. If I went with Emmett, he's more likely to want to get me back one way or another. It may be days from now, it may be months from now, but I peg Emmett as the sort of person who would have some sort of revenge plotted for me.

And what was I supposed to dare Jasper, now that I knew who I was daring?

There are lots of things... OH! I got it!

"Well," I said, "now that that's over, I dare...Jasper."

I have to admit, I don't think that Jasper was too surprised. He wasn't blind, so he obviously knew why I picked him as opposed to my other two options. I also don't think he was very scared of what I would do to him, considering that he probably thought of me as the weak human. But he wouldn't be thinking that for long, though. Wait till he heard my dare.

"Jasper, I dare you to walk around Forks in a bikini with high heels and makeup on, while wearing a wig" I proclaimed. I was actually surprised at myself for being able to come up with something like that.

Jasper's jaw fell to the floor, and Emmett was laughing so loud I would be surprised if they couldn't hear him in Canada. Edward and Rosalie were both snickering, but I wanted to see Alice's reaction. For a second, she was just shocked, but then her eyes lit up, probably from the fact that she would be able to pull out some more designer wear and use makeup again.

Today was also the perfect day for my dare. Since it was mid-July, Jasper would be able to get away with the whole bikini thing easier, even though it still wasn't all that hot. It was also the perfect day because, although it wasn't sunny, it also wasn't raining, by some miracle. It was overcast, just cloudy enough for no sun, but also just hot enough for no one to be suspicious, even though it wasn't exactly swimsuit weather. But the temperature didn't really matter that much in the end though, because we could just explain it was a dare.

"Oh! Oh, oh!! Jazzy, let me pick out your bikini and heels! And I want to do your makeup, too!!!" Alice gushed, already grabbing Jasper's hand and pulling him upstairs. When they came down a few minutes later, no one could contain themselves anymore. Emmett and Rosalie fell back onto the floor laughing, while I slumped over into Edward's chest. I could feel his chest shaking from all his laughter, and my stomach started to hurt from all my laughter. Even after we all got back into the car again, we were still laughing. Even Alice was chuckling, and Jasper still looked like he was humiliated and in disbelief. **(A/N: Link to picture of bikini and wig in profile, along with Edward's outfit and Bella's elf-suit. Onward march...)**

We all decided that Jasper should go in the convenience store first, and parade around the aisles. I didn't really think Jasper wanted to do this dare at all, even for a good laugh, but our enthusiasm and eagerness was rubbing off on him, literally.

Jasper got out of the car and went into the store. He made a big scene about walking in and parading down the aisles. Several customers just stared at him and quickly moved out of the way if he came anywhere near where they were. Jasper was getting so into the dare that he decided to throw in something extra.

He did a little walk and shook his butt up to the cash register. Low and behold, the cashier was Eric Yorkie. Eric dropped the magazine he was reading when he got an eyeful of Jasper in his polka dot bikini, red wig, and 5-inch pumps. I slumped into Edward, and Emmett looked like he would have a brain aneurism – if that were possible – from laughing so hard. Rosalie had her face buried in her hands, while Alice was clutching at her sides to keep from falling over.

"Hey Eric, I'm Jazzalina. I was wondering, are you busy Friday? Jazzalina needs some new man candy!" Jasper said in a voice that he purposely made sound like he was trying too hard to sound sexy. He was also twirling the red hair on his wig.

"Uh, I... I'm b-busy on Fr-Friday... err, SECURITY!!" Eric stuttered. Jasper put on an expression of mock hurt and stormed out of the store. The security guard gave him a weird look, and then motioned at our laughing heap to leave the store.

Jasper also did his routine for Mike Newton, who was just leaving Newton's Outfitters. While Jasper fluttered his eyelashes, winked, and smiled at him, Mike just blushed and said that he'd rather not go out with him. Jasper acted like he was heartbroken and said, "Well, fine then! Jazzalina is too good for you, anyway!!" With that, he went back to the car.

Before we went back to the Cullen's house, Edward decided to stop at Tyler Crowley's house. Apparently, he didn't have any plans this Saturday, so he answered the door. He nearly tripped over his own feet – something I would have most definitely done – and just closed the door. His horrified expression was enough of an answer. Much to his disappointment, Jasper was still free Friday night.

The entire ride back, the Volvo was shaking from our laughter – especially Emmett's. Jasper was even laughing a little, too, but only because of our emotions. When we stopped in the driveway, Jasper was already in the door. By the time I made it inside, he was no longer Jazzalina. He was wearing normal guy clothes, and was no longer covered in makeup, or wearing that redhead wig.

"No offense Jasper, but Alice, I would burn that swimsuit if I were you," Rosalie said.

"Oh, don't worry," Alice replied, "I was getting rid of it anyway. It is so last season." Alice and her fashion. I just hope she doesn't drag me shopping with her to get clothes that are 'this season'...

"OH! Which remind me, Bella, you're due for another shopping trip!" Alice squealed. I just groaned.

"Alice, I thought Edward was the mind reader," I said, hoping to distract her from planning a shopping trip with me for clothes I didn't need.

"Of course he is silly!" Alice said. I doubt I swayed her from taking me shopping. I'll just have to endure...

"If you two are done, I wanna know what Jazzie-poo dares somebody!" Emmett whined. Gosh, he was so impatient.

"Let's continue the game before Emmett makes a hole in the floor," Edward said, while eyeing Emmett jumping up and down and shrieking like a little girl.

Saving Emmett from Esme's wrath if he made a hole in the floor, Jasper said, "I dare..."

**A/N: MWA HA HA HA!!! CLIFFY! **

**Well, I wanna say a big thanks to all those who review – THANK YOU!!!! – and I wanna beg those who don't to take five seconds and tell me what you thought – pretty please with a cherry on top?? I also wanna ask you to think of a dare you would like to see either Emmett or Rosalie do. Just add it into your review. Make it crazy and funny, and tell me who you'd like to see do it. I promise to give you props in my next update. Also – and I promise this really long A/N is almost over – could you please make Emmett's a MEGA DARE? Last thing: my next story will be a pre-Twilight one on what happened to Eddiekinz in the seventies!! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I OWN TWILIGHT! MWA HA HA – is interrupted by someone handing her a sheet of paper – reads: You don't own Twilight. SM does. In your face fan girl!AW CRAP!! *cries***

**NOTE: I have decided that since you guys have already been entrusted the duty of thinking up the last two dares, I give you an ADDED BONUS!! As I stated before, my next story will be set Pre-Twilight and in the seventies. In it, you will all finally learn the dreaded seventies dare that makes Edward shudder every time it is spoken or thought of. However, I already used all the good dares I could think of, so I'm letting you decide what poor Eddiekinz did in the seventies. Must be wild, absurd, and crazier than what was done in this story, and you will be given full credit in coming up with the dare. Just leave it through a review and keep it T rated. **

**I also would like to express my sincere apologies for not updating when promised. I understand that you all have a right to be upset with me and I have just one request... Please don't hat me. Please?**

**Also, HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!! And THANK YOU Lolixox for Rosalie's brilliant dare. Kudos to you. **

**___________________________________________**

**JPOV**

After completing that highly embarrassing and slightly disturbing dare I didn't know Bella was capable of devising, I now had to choose someone to dare, but that was easy. It had been silently agreed upon that Emmett was last, and that he would have a mega-dare. And I don't think anyone is really opposed to that. He has been the one who decided to force us all into truth or dare every time we've played since that one time with Edward...

Back to the point, it's obvious I'm daring Rosalie. Not much suspense there. However, I have no clue what to dare her. I have several ideas, but I want one of them to really hit a nerve and make everyone laugh at just how pissed Rose will be. I know I have to mess with her looks or something but what... *insert light bulb going off here*

Emmett's excitement was starting to get to me, and I didn't want to wait much longer to announce who I chose to dare, however obvious it may be.

"I dare... Rosalie," I said to no one's surprise. Rosalie didn't have much of a reaction. She just looked indifferent and didn't even glance up when I said her name.

Emmett, however, had a much more palpable response. "GET HER GOOD, JAZZIE-POO!!" I swear Emmett is a four year old trapped in a much older body. And a stupid four year old at that.

His absurd behavior at least got Rosalie's attention. "Excuse me?" Rosalie gave Emmett a death glare that would have made any self-respecting human pee their pants.

"Uh, nothing Rosie..." was his brilliant reply.

"Good, that's what I thought." Emmett, thinking he was off the hook, exhaled in relief. Unfortunately, it was short lived. Rosalie took him by the ear in one quick movement and yanked him halfway across the room, nearly hitting Esme's coffee table in the process. Esme when she is mad is enough to make even me, someone who's seen war and tamed savage, bloodthirsty newborns, back away.

My little Alice interrupted our laughter by saying, "Oh, come on!! I wanna know what Jazz cooked up for Rose!"

"Oh, like you don't already know!" Edward obviously didn't care whether or not we proceeded with the game this century.

"You don't exactly have any room to talk, Mr. Mind Reader!!" Alice retorted.

Surprisingly, Bella turned out to be the voice of reason in their quarrel. "Let's just get on with the game. It probably wouldn't hurt you guys to argue into the next century, but unfortunately I wouldn't last that long." Alice backed down because Bella had a point and Edward let the argument go because he couldn't refuse Bella anything.

Mumbled 'fines' and 'whatevers' came from both of them, and I took this as my cue to speak.

"Alright, Rosalie, I dare you to cover yourself in mud and walk around Forks at _human pace_," I said, emphasizing the words human pace. It wouldn't be fair for her to just zip through Forks so fast that no one saw her.

The roaring laughter – mainly Emmett's – was difficult to hear over for me, and was probably deafening to Bella. Rosalie's jaw dropped to the ground as soon as I finished speaking. Judging from the shock that was rolling of her, I highly doubt that she was anticipating something like this. That was silly of her – she should know by now that playing Truth or Dare with us was not something that was boring and dull. The dares were always wacky, bizarre, and utterly insane.

As Alice danced over to Rosalie and dragged her still expressionless form outside, the rest of us were all feebly attempting to get up off the floor, and failing miserably. Only when Alice's singsong voice interrupted us did we actually find the strength to go outside. **(Random A/N: where the hell did Alice even get all the mud from? Call me when you find out cause I got nothing...and I wrote the stinking story!)**

Rosalie covered in mud was a sight to behold. Every inch of her body – including her face and hair – was covered in mud. Calmly, yet still threateningly menacing, she said, "Jasper Hale, you better watch it. It may be weeks, it may be decades, but one day this will catch up with you." I probably should've been scared – Rosalie and what she could do to get revenge on people was not a pleasant thought – but the amusement rolling off of everyone else was overshadowing all of the furious torrents I felt Rosalie exuding.

Since no one – not even Emmett, who usually didn't care – wanted mud in their car, we all elected to run to Forks. Bella climbed on Edward's back and we were off to the little, wet, green town that we call home. When we got to the first buildings, I decided that it was time for Rosalie's humiliation to begin.

"Guys, I think that Rosalie should get started," I announced. With a heavy, overdramatic sigh, Rosalie began her walk of shame. She trudged down Main Street and shot the few passersby looks full of daggers if they stared at her longer than was normal for her to be stared at – and trust me when I say that she is _always_ being stared at by one human or another.

I felt that she wasn't really aiming the most of her dare like the rest of us – even if you couldn't help it because people were _purposely_ radiating huge waves of enthusiasm that you can't ignore – so I decided that we should stir things up a bit. I made her feel overwhelming excitement and enthusiasm. I'm sure she could tell what I was doing to her, but there was no possible way to ignore what I was sending. She could feel irritated later, but it was impossible now.

Immediately, you could sense a tangible change in her attitude, even without my gift. Rosalie perked up and dashed as fast as humanly possible into the little coffee shop at the corner of the block. She went inside and was automatically the center of attention, though not so much for her looks as the fact that she was covered in slimy, icky **(A/N: HeHe I made Jazzie say icky!! idk why but it's hilarious!!)** wet dirt.

She sauntered up to the register and nearly made the poor cashier jump out of her skin when she proclaimed, "I want a soy latté CHOP CHOP!!"

However, when the cashier looked up, all feelings of pity not only vanished from me, but from all of my siblings as well. Lauren Mallory almost choked on the no doubt stolen coffee she was drinking and muttered, "What the hell..." under her breath. Naturally, our entire group – excluding Bella – heard. Edward quickly filled her in on what Lauren had said, though it wasn't much.

"Excuse me?" Lauren spat, this time intending for not only us, but every other customer in the shop to hear. The two patrons shot Lauren confused looks before their eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when they saw Rosalie. The middle aged woman who was sitting in the corner reading a magazine and sipping coffee politely averted her eyes, but the boy who appeared to be about fifteen who was sitting a few tables away apparently didn't have such manners. He continued to stare at Rosalie in a disturbing fashion, but luckily for him, the scum at the counter held her complete attention.

"I _said_ get me a soy latté CHOP CHOP!!" Rosalie sneered, causing Lauren to take an involuntary step back. Unfortunately, Lauren was so hard headed she refused to let her survival instincts take control. For the first time, Lauren noticed the rest of the group. She quickly assessed us and realization hit her. Judging from the fact that everyone but Rosalie was standing by the muddy girl and you could still make out Rosalie's perfect features – not to mention the streaks of gold hair that showed through the disgusting goop – it's fair to say that this wave of acknowledgement probably resulted from her discovering that the messy blonde was in fact Rosalie.

"Make me, Rosalie Hale," Lauren shot right back. Theory confirmed. Rosalie was staring to get pissed, so to avoid having to relocate because Rosalie had the murder of Lauren Mallory on her hands, I brought Rosalie's anger down just enough to make her still have some snotty and mean remarks but also enough to avoid violence.

"You really don't want that, Lauren Mallory," Rosalie hissed. Lauren's resolve was starting to waver.

"Um, err... SECURITY!!" Lauren finally choked out.

"Fine, be that way," Rosalie snapped. After flinging mud all over Lauren's too-made-up face, Rosalie marched out of the shop.

"That was, uh..." Bella stuttered. I decided to just get past this awkwardness and restored Rosalie's previous enthusiastic attitude.

"Let's finish this thing!!" Rosalie shrieked, a complete 180 from herself just five seconds ago. She hauled Emmett up off the ground, where he was laughing at Lauren's face when she got splattered with mud, and promenaded around town for another fifteen minutes. We passed Mrs. Cope, the – in Edward's words – extremely prude secretary with vivid mental fantasies from Forks High School. Rosalie danced around her in a circle before sauntering off and giving other people almost-heart-attacks. Tyler Crowley walked straight into a stop sign because he was staring at Rosalie instead of watching where he was going. Eric Yorkie, who was with Tyler at the time, also bumped into something, but he wasn't as lucky. The thirteen year old girl he collided with shoved him off and ran away screaming "STALKER!"

One run and a shower for Rosalie later, we were all back in our huge living room, which was filled with booming laughter. Alice had her small frame leaning into me and shaking with laughter. Next to her, Edward was also snickering, but his bigger focus was on Bella, who was in his lap and laughing so hard that tears were beginning to well up in the corners of her eyes. Emmett was next to Bella in our circle, and he was laughing uncontrollably at the same time he was restraining an extremely pissed Rosalie from launching herself at me. For every laugh that escaped someone's lips, Rosalie had a sneer or a snarl to match it.

She finally cracked. "Enough!" she boomed. There was instantaneous silence. "Now that you've all laughed at me enough to last you the next millennium, I dare..."

**A/N PLEASE READ: Why did I even bother to insert the cliffie here? There's only one person left to dare anyways... So, I once again would like to express how sorry I am that I broke your faith in me and did not update as promised. I was just so busy with school starting up again that I did not have the time to write. However, my loyal Twilighters, I have decided that I will update every weekend only. I should be able to keep this up as it is more compatible with my crazy schedule. **

**Until next time,**

**RandomCullenFanGirl1901**

**P.S. Ideas for Eddie's seventies dare are still open; post your idea in a review on this story. Also, you have until Friday, January 23, to post ideas for Emmett's super awesome T RATED mega dare!! Remember, if your dare is chosen, full credit goes to you.**


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